Backwards logic.

If you're a three (or four-, five-, or six-) year old boy and you love Spiderman, you want him on your underwear. This seems to be one of those immutable laws of nature.

And if you want the Wall Climber on your underwear, chances are, you want to be able to see him. Every time you glance down, he should be there reminding you of your own Super Powers.

But underwear manufacturers print Spidey on the backside of underwear.

I know, I know ... it's because there's more of a canvas there than on the front (where the engineering gets in the way).

But your average three year old boy, it turns out, doesn't much care for convention. He simply wears them backwards, wedgies be damned. Or at least this is the logic I've witnessed in my own house for a few years now.

Thing is, if you're say -- oh, I don't know, six?* -- and you've been wearing your underpants backward for three years, so you can see Peter Parker any time you want to, this might eventually become a problem. Like when you start playing hockey. With the big boys. And have to undress in the locker room.

Nope.

Turns out, lots of guys wear Spidey on the front. I'm also finding out that lots of guys don't. At all. As in, if they can't wear him where they can see him, they won't wear anything at all.

(Does anyone else out there -- please, let there be someone else -- have this same logic at work every day before school?)

Regardless ... to the underwear-maker guys, a suggestion: print over the lines and bring Spidey around front. No one's using the hatch anyway.

 

*Hypothetically speaking, of course. Actual name(s) and ages are withheld to protect innocent backwards-underwearers everywhere